Writers don't always get to go on job interviews. We toil away at a story or a novel for years and then we send it off in the hopes that someone will say ‘yes, we'll publish this.’ But sometimes we fantasize about putting on a suit or a DVF dress so that we can get grilled by HR and negotiate our salary, so we thought we'd give our writers a chance to attempt to enter the real world.
This week we’re bringing you answers from WJP Newnham the author of El Greco and the companion piece Gr:Easter a short story about a debaucherous trip down memory lane that reviewers are calling “strangely compelling” with “moments of almost hallucinogenic lyricism”.
Check out his answers to the top ten oddball interview questions as reported by Glassdoor below.
"When a hot dog expands, in which direction does it split and why?"
Along the longitudinal axis to account for expansion
"Would you rather fight 1 horse-sized duck, or 100 duck-sized horses?"
A quote from ‘Rock-n-Rolla’ “come on boys I have the lot of ya”
"If you’re the CEO, what are the first three things you check about the business when you wake up?"
sustainability, accountability, responsibility
"What would the name of your debut album be?"
‘Why do Fools Suddenly Appear’
"How would you sell hot coco in Florida?"
With ice cubes
"If I gave you $40,000 to start a business, what would you start?"
Worm farms for dog parks
"What would you do if you found a penguin in the freezer?"
Worry that it was too warm for the penguin
"If you were a brand, what would be your motto?"
Just done it
"How many basketballs would fit in this room?"
That’s for you to decide
"If you had $2,000, how would you double it in 24 hours?”
All on black
Bonus: On a more serious note, what’s the best part about being a writer?
Writing is catharsis.
That's me drunk at ‘La Foridita’: Hemingway’s favorite bar in Havana for daiquiris with my arm around the bronze statue of el papa. Who would have thought that with all the bull fighting and marlin fishing that he was a daiquiri drinker- note that I am flicking my personal gang sign- fuck you and your dog?